she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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