Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
