Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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