I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
