you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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