grandma shit on top of the toilet
You smell like stripper and shame
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
