So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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