i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
