I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
