you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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