If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
that is very illegal...i love you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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