hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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