I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
