ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
