no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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