You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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