My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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