we're chasing vodka with high fives
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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