well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
