YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so let's talk penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
