you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
