i barfeds in our rink
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
