we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He kissed a someone with a penis
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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