It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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