Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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