Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
