my vag is so smooth its legendary
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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