Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
