Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize