remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
