I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize