my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
