i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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