Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
