Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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