I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize