i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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