I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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