I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
everyone is single if you try hard enough
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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