So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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