I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
