Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
