I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
