I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
