i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
