What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Acid is not a monday night drug
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
