We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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