singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
