Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
