i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
