Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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