I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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