I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
