Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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