Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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