...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
