Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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