How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
