Having a random hookup so left but love u
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
