He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
