Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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