Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
