I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
