and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
