just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
