I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
